Since we get together, I feel I have a mission to cure your heart. And from then on, I decided to give you all my love unconditionally. I want you to know that no matter of what happened, there's always one person who loves you and cares about you so much. Even though I'm like a candle, I still want to give you every inch of my light.
You are the best friend, lover and family to me in the world. I've never felt such happiness before I met you. ありがとうございます！
Secret letter from Rin:
今日の授業で、文学の先生に「愛とは何か」と訊かれた。私は「愛というのは無条件で、ある人や物に対して慕う心」だと答えた。先生に「それは感情なのか行動なのか」とまた訊かれ、私は「感情を先にして現れる行動だけど、相手がそれを受け入れるか理解できるかは別なこと」と答えた。でも、素直に答えなかった私がいた。
正直、「愛とは何か」と考えた時に一番先に思い浮かんだのは貴方の姿。今のも考えるのは、この世の中はすべて特定の条件の元に愛が成立している。友だちが私に「愛している」と言っても、それは重く感じるような「愛」ではないとはしっかりとわかっている。血が繋がっていなければ、今の家族は今の私に「愛している」と思えるのだろうか。神は罪人でも誰でも無条件に「愛している」と言いつつも、サタンの名で神を信じぬ者は全員地獄に落とす。何が無条件なんだよ。そう言うときっと怒る人もいるけど、実際にこのような愛が無条件であれば、戦争という概念自体は存在しないはず。あなたはなぜ無条件に人を愛せないのか。
私と貴方は血も繋がっていない、世界人口82億人のたった2人。私はこの世の誰にでも貴方のように愛されたことがない。眠いのは貴方の方だけど、寝る前に私に本を読んでくれる。怒っているのは貴方の方だけど、いつも優しく指で私の涙を拭いてくれる。傷ついたのは貴方の方だけど、いつも私の誤ちを許してくれる。私は、良い友達でも、良い娘でも、良い彼女でも、良い人でもない。貴方が言う通り、私は人を慰めることも気遣うことも愛することもできない、人間失格の人。でも、どうか貴方を傷つけた回数よりも、一緒にいて嬉しかった回数の方が多くあれ。どうか悲しみや怒りよりも、喜びの方が大きくあれ。どうか愛を捧ぐ貴方には、この愛することもできない私からの愛を感じることができるように。
Translation:
In today's class, the literature teacher asked, "What is love?" I answered, "Love is an unconditional feeling of affection towards a person or thing." Then the teacher asked, "Is it an emotion or an action?" I replied, "It starts as an emotion, but it's expressed as an action. However, whether the other person accepts or understands it is a different matter." But there was a part of me that didn't answer honestly.
To be honest, when I first thought about "What is love?", the first image that came to mind was of you. Even now, I think that love in this world always exists under certain conditions. Even if a friend says to me, "I love you," I clearly understand that it is not the kind of "love" that feels heavy. If we weren't related by blood, would my current family think they "love" me as they do now? God says He loves sinners and everyone unconditionally, yet He sends all those who don't believe in Him to hell under Satan's name. What part of that is unconditional? Some people might get angry if I say that, but if love were truly unconditional, the very concept of war shouldn't exist. Why can't you love someone unconditionally?
You and I aren't related by blood; we are just two people out of the 8.2 billion in this world. I've never been loved by anyone in this world the way I’ve been loved by you. Even though you're the one who's sleepy, you read to me before bed. Even though you're the one who's angry, you always gently wipe my tears with your fingers. Even though you're the one who's hurt, you always forgive my mistakes. I am neither a good friend, a good daughter, a good girlfriend, nor a good person. Just as you said, I'm a person who can't console, care for, or love others—a person unfit to be human. But please, let there be more moments when you were happy to be with me than the times I hurt you. Let there be more joy than sadness or anger. I hope that you, who give me love, can somehow feel love from me, someone incapable of truly loving.
